Holy Exhaustion, Batman!

Confession:  I stumbled upon old episodes of "Batman" Sunday morning before I went off to class--sorry!

This weekend started a new adventure into Pilates Teacher Training. I admit this is entirely crazy.  I mean 1) I have no ambition to open my own studio and 2) I don't see myself as the "teacher" type.  Yet....here I am.  I plunked down my cash, made the commitment and am enrolled in a totally quality training program.  (Seriously, where else would one get training from a person who is a Second Generation and a Third Generation Instructor? --no joke, look it up).  I do love Pilates, though, and it's changed me in so many ways.

• It makes me feel taller (I'm only 5'1" so every little bit helps)
• I can (finally) run more than a block
• I have better overall strength and stability
• BONUS:  I sometimes feel like a total bad-ass after doing crazy stuff

One weekend down and it is truly exhausting.  There is the physical aspect, but the mental aspect is completely not expected (yet, obvious).  There is just so much to learn and so much to remember.  Factor in having to actually "teach" to classmates.  Over-whelmed.  By midway Friday, I seriously doubted my ability to do this.  And then I stepped back and thought of things I do that I would never think I could do. 

At work, I sometimes speak with VPs, Directors.  I create policies and processes and the associated governance.  I get to tell people "no." At home, I have two little people that  I am responsible for molding into responsible big people.  There is no manual for that (sure, lots of advice and studies, but it isn't like actual instructions).  I realize these are both very different "things," but they are both challenges and both have their own set of consequences  Why exactly did (do) I think teaching would be impossible.  

By Saturday, I felt much better about it all.  Of course through Saturday and Sunday, there was so much more material to add to what I already had stuffed in my brain from Friday.  The "teaching" part started to feel a little bit more natural.  Still awkward, mind you, but not quite as nerve-wracking as Friday.  It could be confidence or beginning to have more familiarity with my classmates.  Whatever it was, it at least helped things be less uncomfortable.  

So....a couple months for me to practice what I learned and see what I can imprint to my mind before the next weekend of training.  Eeeek......Live in the moment; live in the moment; live in the moment.  Maybe all of this will help me figure out what I really want and where I belong.  Still feeling very lost.